I Believe

I believe because I go to the woods and am met.  I go not to get away from, but to draw closer to.

I go with desire.  Or a question.  Or the sense that I carry something.  Or three words on a sticky note.  I try to leave all else behind, especially old ways of seeing.  I leave all at the edge, except for trust that this will be new.  And the prayer that I will receive well.

I go in the name of Jesus.  With faith in the Trinity.  Not faith in how I understand it, but faith in how it moves me.  I don’t need to know too much about that.

I believe because of what happens in the woods when I am still and silent, and embrace life around me.  I let go of time and big ideas.  I see and hear afresh, and sense with power that is not mine.  The true power makes me smile and sometimes laugh out loud.

Theology has helped me become who I am – or who I was.  But it is not why I believe.  Big words have fallen away.  The soothing of simple impossibilities remains.  Faith is embrace of those mystical inbox quotes that transport until reality grabs me back.  And a few days now and then to read them to the fish, racoon, Robyns, and bones.

This gift is a craziness to follow Jesus between the lines.  I hope and pray I’m the right amount of crazy.  The amount that lets God shape Us until i am ready to leave the woods.  That is who We are.

I believe because I risked that there was more in less.  Because I found that to be true.  It leads not to certainty, respect, and proof – but to mystery, warmth, and smiles.  Depending on the moment, there is fear or comfort.  Either one helps.  Both keep me searching for meeting spots.

I believe.  Don’t ask for explanation.  Ask for your gift.  Pray to feel how God believes in you.